from Kuching City with love

hello again,

i have been trying very hard to adjust myself to the life of a working mom and wife. It is SOOOO much easier to live far away from your spouse than living with them. It's been a month, and actually me and husband had a really BIG argument a few days ago that my father in law had to step in to stop things from getting any worse. tiny things might become huge matters if you do not know how to sort and prioritize well.

I really do not want get into any heated arguments with my husband while holding my dearest son. I'm afraid it might do him no good. He's a living human, not a plastic toy! People said, babies are like sponge which is why i am avoiding any arguments in front of him.

I have been living separated with my husband for 2 years, and we really do not have any issues trusting each other or whatsoever. But things seems to be much more complicated now as we live with his family. The 'culture' in the family itself really doesn't suit me well and just not the way I want to educate my son. Its not like the family are bad, they are really nice people but one of the few reason is they don't have strong 'learning' culture like I had in my family. My dad, mom are teachers. We're all raised to read books and to learn a lot. Me myself is a book lover.

At one certain point, I felt like leaving my job now to raise my son. Sometimes I thought I might just move back to my old workplace. Things are so much smooth back then. Now, with a baby, new place to adjust myself with, new work to do, quite long distance to drive everyday.. I felt tensed more each day. As the tense built up, and when ahjusshi (Mister husband) makes thing even more complicated with not so cute demands.. I feel like exploding one day. But as for now, my belief makes me stay calm most of the time. Hoping that we could work things out one at a time, slowly. I am learning to 'stay put' all the time.

I kept on telling myself "Hang in there, Hera. Things will get better.."